Until next year, November

Dear November, I'm going to be honest with you, you're not my favourite month of the year. In fact, for myself, you represent a time of pain, grief, loss and unknowing. I know it's not your fault, but I really don't like you. Last year I managed to avoid you to the best of my…

Advertisements

Two Years Without You

Dear Evalyn, Do you know what I've realised in the two years since I last held you in my arms? Two years feels like yesterday. We don't move on as grieving parents. We have to move forward as the world continues to turn - even if we are unsure of the direction - but we…

Evalyn’s Birth Story

It's taken me a long time to write this post. I've spent months typing words onto the screen, deleting them and rewriting them again. I have spent every month since the day we lost her telling the world Evalyn's story and although I have directed some of my blogs towards certain moments, I have never…

The World Didn’t See (a poem)

The world didn't see as he held her, How he kissed her cold cheek as he cried. Or how time seemed to stop and the ground opened up, When he heard that his baby had died.   The world didn't see him paint over, The room he'd made one month before. How he packed up…

Let’s Make The World Listen

  Next month is baby loss awareness week (9th-15th October) and just like last year, I will be trying my best to raise as much awareness as possible by not only sharing Evalyn's story, but by supporting other parents and families who have also lost a little one. I have also been lucky to have…

Hibernation

It was September 2016 and Ieuan was asking me about the changing seasons. "If the leaves turn brown, does that mean that it's nearly Autumn?" "It does," I told him. I watched him excitedly put his little hands on either side of my pregnant tummy. "Did you hear that, baby?" he squealed into my skin,…

Parenting a Rainbow

**Trigger : pregnancy / baby after loss**   This time last year I was about four months pregnant with Iola. On the outside, I was a pregnant woman with a blossoming bump and a future that was about to be changed in the most wonderful of ways. But on the inside, I would go to…

Growing Up and Knowing More

Dear Ieuan, We were on our way home from your swimming lesson when you said it. The clouds that had been slowly rolling their way in throughout the course of the afternoon were now dispelling their contents in large raindrops on the car windscreen. The sun was beginning to be swallowed by the grey sky…

Making Memories Without You

**Trigger: this post refers to pregnancy/baby after loss **   Dear Evalyn, We went on our second holiday without you this month. Last year, on our first holiday without you, we found out we were pregnant with your sister and this year she was right there with us. But don't think for a single moment…