Finding Humour In Grief

The room that was already small was made to feel even smaller by the fact there were already two other families waiting in it. The receptionist had called it a 'waiting room' but I was pretty sure that at one time throughout history it had actually been a cupboard. I clung to the paperwork that…

Advertisements

Interviewing Nick: A Loss Dad’s Perspective

"The problem with being a dad to a stillborn child is that people assume that because you are a man, you are somehow less affected by the loss," Nick told me the other night, "I'd like to write a blog post about it one day but I don't know where to start. How do you…

My Happy Challenge

Ieuan made me laugh last week and as I caught a glimpse of myself in my bedroom mirror, I didn't recognise the woman smiling back. It was at this point that I realised that I don't laugh as much as I used to. Grief will do that to you. There have been times when I…

Asking For Help and Raising Awareness

  One of the hardest things to do in life is to ask for help. It's even harder when you don't know where to seek it from. The main problem that I have found with the topic of stillbirth is that it is almost hidden from society. We talk about death. We discuss the passing…

Breaking Down and Building Up

I watched Ieuan carefully examining his birthday present. "What does the tag say?" I asked him. He squinted down at my handwriting as he began to sound out the words. "To Ieuan, love . . . . . . EVALYN!" He quickly unwrapped the paper and pulled the little brown teddy from the packaging. I…

Be Gentle With Yourself

Learning to live after loss is a slow process. It is easy for an outsider to see a grieving person months later, to see them laughing and smiling and be thankful that they look like they are in a happier place. But I can assure you, we haven't moved on. We are just learning to…

Back To Square One

Will you try for another baby? It's a question I've been asked alot. It's a question that I've thought about alot. But it is also a complicated question. When we lost Evalyn, I remember turning to Nick in the early hours when sleep just wouldn't come. "This can't be it," I told him, "I don't…

Six Months

Dear Evalyn, According to the calendar that hangs on the wall, it has been six months since we lost you. In my head, it only feels like yesterday. Six months. It is hard not to contemplate all of the things you would have already achieved had life let us keep you. You would have had…