Regrowth

I glanced at my reflection one last time in the mirror, put down the hairspray and sighed. What was the point? I'd been working on the fly-away hairs for fifteen minutes and they were still no closer to obeying my orders to just stay put. Ahhhh postpartum hair regrowth! One more treat for mothers to…

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Photography: A New Venture

  When I was six years old, myself and my brother won a photography competition with Kodak. Our winning photo was of us playing in our garden during a Summer's day. Our paddling pool had a whale in the middle of it that squirted water and the photograph showed us squealing in delight under the…

Triggers

"A trigger in psychology is a stimulus such as a smell, sound or sight that triggers feelings of trauma." I folded the clothes neatly into a pile and placed them into the bag ready to go to the charity shop. Some of the jumpers were nearly new and had only been worn a handful of…

Parenting After Loss

There's alot of literature out there about surviving life after loss. I should know. In the hours after losing Evalyn, my Google search was that of a desperate, grieving mother: How will I cope after losing my baby? How to cope after suffering a stillbirth. Stillbirth at 37 weeks +6. Will I be able to…

Finding Humour In Grief

The room that was already small was made to feel even smaller by the fact there were already two other families waiting in it. The receptionist had called it a 'waiting room' but I was pretty sure that at one time throughout history it had actually been a cupboard. I clung to the paperwork that…

Interviewing Nick: A Loss Dad’s Perspective

"The problem with being a dad to a stillborn child is that people assume that because you are a man, you are somehow less affected by the loss," Nick told me the other night, "I'd like to write a blog post about it one day but I don't know where to start. How do you…

My Happy Challenge

Ieuan made me laugh last week and as I caught a glimpse of myself in my bedroom mirror, I didn't recognise the woman smiling back. It was at this point that I realised that I don't laugh as much as I used to. Grief will do that to you. There have been times when I…

Asking For Help and Raising Awareness

  One of the hardest things to do in life is to ask for help. It's even harder when you don't know where to seek it from. The main problem that I have found with the topic of stillbirth is that it is almost hidden from society. We talk about death. We discuss the passing…

Breaking Down and Building Up

I watched Ieuan carefully examining his birthday present. "What does the tag say?" I asked him. He squinted down at my handwriting as he began to sound out the words. "To Ieuan, love . . . . . . EVALYN!" He quickly unwrapped the paper and pulled the little brown teddy from the packaging. I…