Our beautiful daughter, Evalyn, was stillborn on the 8th November 2016 and in the initial months after our loss, I found it hard to find stories from parents who have found themselves going through a similar experience. Finding myself in a new, unfamiliar world, I longed to find a bit of familiarity with somebody who could say, “Yes! That’s me! I understand your pain.” I now know that I am sadly not alone in my journey as there are many others out there with empty arms and broken hearts.
I wanted to tell Evalyn’s story and document my own journey of life and loss. In November of this year (2019) we will be three years into our journey and it has been quite the rollercoaster. There has been grief. Sadness. Smiles. Laughter. We went through the journey of pregnancy after loss and have both struggled and enjoyed parenting after loss also. I have seen my grief mould and change and I have rode the waves that come and go. I have learnt that we do not neccessarily move on after loss, but we can try and find ways to move forward . . .
I didn’t start this blog to scare anybody, only to raise awareness. Stillbirth and Neonatal Death is still such a taboo subject and it shouldn’t be. As parents, we shouldn’t have to worry about making people feel awkward by talking about our children. And more importantly, we shouldn’t have to feel alone. To the people who read these words, who have also loved and lost – you are not alone. We may find ourselves living in a lonely, in-between world, but we are not alone.
I hope that one day we can raise awareness together and give all babies lost, at any stage of pregnancy, the voice they never had.
This blog follows my journey. The sadness, the joys, the ups, downs and all the bits in-between.
This is life After Evalyn.