I sometimes wish I could package up the support that our friends have shown to us since November and hand it out to people experiencing grief - like a little 'hug in a bottle'. In the hours after we lost Evalyn and the hours before I gave birth to her, my mind went into major…
Memory Boxes and “What Ifs?”
When Evalyn died, the very kind midwives who looked after us made up a memory box for us to take home. It's a bit like being given the consolation prize in a horrific game show. . . . "Thank You, Lyndsey and Nick, for taking part in 'Creating Life' but unfortunately, you are not winners…
Caves, Cheese and Contemplation
Last week we went on an 'escape-away' to Somerset. Four days away from our lives, and our first family break without Evalyn. I was always going to have mixed emotions. A small part of me wondered if it was too soon to try a family holiday. I mean, how could I possibly even contemplate being…
For The Love of a Pug
We have always wanted a dog. But we wanted to do it right. Me and Nick both worked full time and it wouldn't have been fair to introduce a dog into our family when we weren't around to care for it properly. In February 2016, I fell pregnant with Evalyn and that's when we formulated…
Grief . . . . My Enemy, My Friend
Grief, I'm slowly learning, is a process. I am sometimes a victim of my own projection. I often let my mind wander off too far into the distance, willing myself to reach a point in my life where everything hurts a little less. Then I slowly reel myself back to shore. I know that I…
The Sad “Congratulations”
"Congratulations," my text said, "Enjoy every moment with your little girl. Love to you all." I hit the send button, put my phone down on the table and cried. I think that was the moment I truly realised how much my attidude towards pregnancy and birth has changed since losing Evalyn only four short months…
After Evalyn 