Back In The Ocean

**Trigger: This post refers to baby after loss**   I knew it was coming. I could feel it. It's been a storm in the distance for quite some time, gathering pace, and so far I have been able to avoid it by constantly moving and darting out of its way when it has neared too…

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Bryan

**Triggers: pregnancy after loss / rainbow baby ** Explaining death to a four year old was never going to be easy. Where do you start? How do you start to explain that the perfect little world that they live in can sometimes be full of sorrow and heartache? How do you even begin to find…

Growing Up and Knowing More

Dear Ieuan, We were on our way home from your swimming lesson when you said it. The clouds that had been slowly rolling their way in throughout the course of the afternoon were now dispelling their contents in large raindrops on the car windscreen. The sun was beginning to be swallowed by the grey sky…

Kelly

** Trigger: This blog post refers to pregnancy after loss**   She told me her name was Kelly. And then she gave me the one thing nobody other than my husband had given me that morning. A hug. Up until that moment, nobody else had thought to do that. The Doctor who told me your…

My Invisible Child

Dear Stranger, We haven't met yet. I'm not sure when that day will come. We may be standing next to eachother in the shopping queue or you may be on the next table over from us in a restaurant. Maybe you'll be the person sat next to me on a plane as we both travel…

The Impact Of Stillbirth

Trigger: This post speaks about pregnancy after loss.   The other day, I found myself sorting through some of Evalyn's paperwork. It's crazy to think that after 16 months, I am still finding little pieces around the house which all lead back to one thing . . . Her. This time, it was her maternity…

Sharing Stories

It has nearly been a whole year since I started my blog. A whole year spent writing about our Evalyn and telling her story, trying to raise awareness and fundraising for baby loss charities. . . . A whole year spent talking about my little girl. Evalyn's story doesn't change. That's the thing I've realised…

Flowers and Feelings

"They're beautiful!" I smiled at the delivery driver as she handed me the bouquet of flowers. I watched her walk back to her car before shutting the front door and turned to find Ieuan standing behind me. "Look at these!," I said to him, "Shall we go and find a nice vase to put them…

New Year Musings

On 31st December last year, I wrote the following in my diary: New Years Eve. It tends to be a day when people look back on the year they've just had and pick out their best moments. But for us, 2016, you have been nothing but turmoil. This year feels like a bad dream that…

The Long Run

We were standing near the starting line when a woman we didn't know came over and pulled us all into a warm embrace. "I'm so sorry," she said, pointing to our SANDS tops. She too was wearing a similar one. "It's just an awful thing to have to go through. I'm running for my Grandson."…