Until next year, November

Dear November, I'm going to be honest with you, you're not my favourite month of the year. In fact, for myself, you represent a time of pain, grief, loss and unknowing. I know it's not your fault, but I really don't like you. Last year I managed to avoid you to the best of my…

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Two Years Without You

Dear Evalyn, Do you know what I've realised in the two years since I last held you in my arms? Two years feels like yesterday. We don't move on as grieving parents. We have to move forward as the world continues to turn - even if we are unsure of the direction - but we…

The World Didn’t See (a poem)

The world didn't see as he held her, How he kissed her cold cheek as he cried. Or how time seemed to stop and the ground opened up, When he heard that his baby had died.   The world didn't see him paint over, The room he'd made one month before. How he packed up…

Let’s Make The World Listen

  Next month is baby loss awareness week (9th-15th October) and just like last year, I will be trying my best to raise as much awareness as possible by not only sharing Evalyn's story, but by supporting other parents and families who have also lost a little one. I have also been lucky to have…

Hibernation

It was September 2016 and Ieuan was asking me about the changing seasons. "If the leaves turn brown, does that mean that it's nearly Autumn?" "It does," I told him. I watched him excitedly put his little hands on either side of my pregnant tummy. "Did you hear that, baby?" he squealed into my skin,…

Peace, Reflection and Long Summer Days

Dear Evalyn, It was two years ago that we spent our first and only Summer together. And I have spent alot of time over this passing month contemplating this. We had our moments that year, but I feel that spending those long, hot days with my head over a toliet bowl wasn't how I'd intended…

Bryan

**Triggers: pregnancy after loss / rainbow baby ** Explaining death to a four year old was never going to be easy. Where do you start? How do you start to explain that the perfect little world that they live in can sometimes be full of sorrow and heartache? How do you even begin to find…

Making Memories Without You

**Trigger: this post refers to pregnancy/baby after loss **   Dear Evalyn, We went on our second holiday without you this month. Last year, on our first holiday without you, we found out we were pregnant with your sister and this year she was right there with us. But don't think for a single moment…

Kelly

** Trigger: This blog post refers to pregnancy after loss**   She told me her name was Kelly. And then she gave me the one thing nobody other than my husband had given me that morning. A hug. Up until that moment, nobody else had thought to do that. The Doctor who told me your…