To the eager commenter, I must admit, I very rarely scroll through the comments section on articles - even more so when it is my own story alongside others being featured. Why? Because there is always one person who, like yourself, reacts in a way that makes me question if your finger slipped on your…
I was never prepared for the questions our four year old son asked us after Evalyn died. Why couldn't your tummy keep her alive, Mummy? Did she not love us enough to stay? Was she sad when she had to leave? He processed her death in the innocent way his mind knew how, and yet,…
Dear Iola, I always knew that parenting you would fill me with joy. I also knew that parenting you would be incredibly hard. Unlike your brother, you were born after loss. You were born into a world that exists after Evalyn. And as hard as I try, it is sometimes impossible to stop my own…
Dear Evalyn, Do you know what I've realised in the two years since I last held you in my arms? Two years feels like yesterday. We don't move on as grieving parents. We have to move forward as the world continues to turn - even if we are unsure of the direction - but we…
It's taken me a long time to write this post. I've spent months typing words onto the screen, deleting them and rewriting them again. I have spent every month since the day we lost her telling the world Evalyn's story and although I have directed some of my blogs towards certain moments, I have never…
I brushed my fingertips over Evalyn's and stroked the edges of her dark, brown hair, all the while wishing that it was her I was embracing and not just her photograph. It had taken a whole fourteen months since Evalyn died for Nick and I to get to a point where we finally felt ready…
The world didn't see as he held her, How he kissed her cold cheek as he cried. Or how time seemed to stop and the ground opened up, When he heard that his baby had died. The world didn't see him paint over, The room he'd made one month before. How he packed up…
Next month is baby loss awareness week (9th-15th October) and just like last year, I will be trying my best to raise as much awareness as possible by not only sharing Evalyn's story, but by supporting other parents and families who have also lost a little one. I have also been lucky to have…
It was September 2016 and Ieuan was asking me about the changing seasons. "If the leaves turn brown, does that mean that it's nearly Autumn?" "It does," I told him. I watched him excitedly put his little hands on either side of my pregnant tummy. "Did you hear that, baby?" he squealed into my skin,…
**Trigger: This post refers to baby after loss** I knew it was coming. I could feel it. It's been a storm in the distance for quite some time, gathering pace, and so far I have been able to avoid it by constantly moving and darting out of its way when it has neared too…
After Evalyn 