It was September 2016 and Ieuan was asking me about the changing seasons. "If the leaves turn brown, does that mean that it's nearly Autumn?" "It does," I told him. I watched him excitedly put his little hands on either side of my pregnant tummy. "Did you hear that, baby?" he squealed into my skin,…
Grief is so human and it hits everyone at one point or another, at least, in their lives. If you love, you will grieve, and that's just given - Kay Redfield Jamison I thought I knew what grief was. The loss of family pets over the years and the death of my Grandfather when…
Dear Evalyn, It was two years ago that we spent our first and only Summer together. And I have spent alot of time over this passing month contemplating this. We had our moments that year, but I feel that spending those long, hot days with my head over a toliet bowl wasn't how I'd intended…
**Triggers: pregnancy after loss / rainbow baby ** Explaining death to a four year old was never going to be easy. Where do you start? How do you start to explain that the perfect little world that they live in can sometimes be full of sorrow and heartache? How do you even begin to find…
**Trigger: this post refers to pregnancy/baby after loss ** Dear Evalyn, We went on our second holiday without you this month. Last year, on our first holiday without you, we found out we were pregnant with your sister and this year she was right there with us. But don't think for a single moment…
** Trigger: This blog post refers to pregnancy after loss** She told me her name was Kelly. And then she gave me the one thing nobody other than my husband had given me that morning. A hug. Up until that moment, nobody else had thought to do that. The Doctor who told me your…
Trigger: This post speaks about pregnancy after loss. The other day, I found myself sorting through some of Evalyn's paperwork. It's crazy to think that after 16 months, I am still finding little pieces around the house which all lead back to one thing . . . Her. This time, it was her maternity…
*TRIGGER WARNING . . . This blog talks about pregnancy after loss* It was the early hours of the morning and I was sat on the windowsill of the hospital suite looking out across the courtyard at the opposite side of the building. I watched through the windows as life carried on outside of…
**Trigger Warning: This post talks about Pregnancy After Loss ** It took me a long time to love my son. With hindsight, that seems like an inconcievable thought. I look at him now as the beautiful five-year-old that he is and can't imagine a world with him not in it. But back then, in…
It has nearly been a whole year since I started my blog. A whole year spent writing about our Evalyn and telling her story, trying to raise awareness and fundraising for baby loss charities. . . . A whole year spent talking about my little girl. Evalyn's story doesn't change. That's the thing I've realised…
After Evalyn 