Every year around your birthday, I write you a letter. But for some reason, the words for this one were harder to find. This letter has found its way back to my drafts folder more than enough times to bring about a mothers guilt. The words should be so easy. Because when it comes to…
In my mind, I can still picture my husband standing in shock. I can still remember wanting to reach out to him, to utter words that would bring him comfort. But no words came. Hindsight. It is both beautiful and a curse. Because now I know the words I would have said to him yet…
Dear Evalyn, Time itself tells us that it can heal us of our grief. That 'in time', we may not hurt as much. But I'm sitting here three years after I last held you in my arms and my tears still find a way to fall onto the letters as I type. Because three years…
For those who may not know, The Butterfly Awards "is a beautiful, inspirational ceremony and dinner that celebrates the survivors and champions of baby loss" and I am so honoured to be named as a finalist in the Author/Blogger (international) catergory this year. I am so thankful to this ceremony that honours so many…
Dear Evalyn, Loss is meant to make us see the fragility of life. It is meant to make us see how much life should be cherished. How much it should be lived. Loss is meant to make us open our own doors outwards into the world and explore the beauty it holds, for we now…
I was never prepared for the questions our four year old son asked us after Evalyn died. Why couldn't your tummy keep her alive, Mummy? Did she not love us enough to stay? Was she sad when she had to leave? He processed her death in the innocent way his mind knew how, and yet,…
Dear Evalyn, Do you know what I've realised in the two years since I last held you in my arms? Two years feels like yesterday. We don't move on as grieving parents. We have to move forward as the world continues to turn - even if we are unsure of the direction - but we…
After Evalyn 