It was September 2016 and Ieuan was asking me about the changing seasons. "If the leaves turn brown, does that mean that it's nearly Autumn?" "It does," I told him. I watched him excitedly put his little hands on either side of my pregnant tummy. "Did you hear that, baby?" he squealed into my skin,…
Dear Evalyn, It was two years ago that we spent our first and only Summer together. And I have spent alot of time over this passing month contemplating this. We had our moments that year, but I feel that spending those long, hot days with my head over a toliet bowl wasn't how I'd intended…
**Trigger : pregnancy / baby after loss** This time last year I was about four months pregnant with Iola. On the outside, I was a pregnant woman with a blossoming bump and a future that was about to be changed in the most wonderful of ways. But on the inside, I would go to…
**Triggers: pregnancy after loss / rainbow baby ** Explaining death to a four year old was never going to be easy. Where do you start? How do you start to explain that the perfect little world that they live in can sometimes be full of sorrow and heartache? How do you even begin to find…
Dear Ieuan, We were on our way home from your swimming lesson when you said it. The clouds that had been slowly rolling their way in throughout the course of the afternoon were now dispelling their contents in large raindrops on the car windscreen. The sun was beginning to be swallowed by the grey sky…
**Trigger: this post refers to pregnancy/baby after loss ** Dear Evalyn, We went on our second holiday without you this month. Last year, on our first holiday without you, we found out we were pregnant with your sister and this year she was right there with us. But don't think for a single moment…
Dear Stranger, We haven't met yet. I'm not sure when that day will come. We may be standing next to eachother in the shopping queue or you may be on the next table over from us in a restaurant. Maybe you'll be the person sat next to me on a plane as we both travel…
** Trigger : This post speaks about pregnancy/parenting after loss** When Ieuan was 3 weeks old, I took him to a local Mum and Baby group and realised one hour in that it just wasn't for me. Ieuan was a Summer baby with both colic and reflux and an impressive ability to scream for…
Trigger: This post speaks about pregnancy after loss. The other day, I found myself sorting through some of Evalyn's paperwork. It's crazy to think that after 16 months, I am still finding little pieces around the house which all lead back to one thing . . . Her. This time, it was her maternity…
*TRIGGER WARNING . . . This blog talks about pregnancy after loss* It was the early hours of the morning and I was sat on the windowsill of the hospital suite looking out across the courtyard at the opposite side of the building. I watched through the windows as life carried on outside of…
After Evalyn 