Dear Evalyn, According to the calendar that hangs on the wall, it has been six months since we lost you. In my head, it only feels like yesterday. Six months. It is hard not to contemplate all of the things you would have already achieved had life let us keep you. You would have had…
A Little Mint Heart On The Wall
"It's perfect!!" I smiled at Nick, "It is exactly what I wanted! Our baby will love it!" It was October, and Nick had just finished painting the last wall in Evalyn's nursery. I had spent the previous weeks making decisions on what colours to choose and where her furniture should go. It had been so…
The Friendship Support Group
I sometimes wish I could package up the support that our friends have shown to us since November and hand it out to people experiencing grief - like a little 'hug in a bottle'. In the hours after we lost Evalyn and the hours before I gave birth to her, my mind went into major…
Memory Boxes and “What Ifs?”
When Evalyn died, the very kind midwives who looked after us made up a memory box for us to take home. It's a bit like being given the consolation prize in a horrific game show. . . . "Thank You, Lyndsey and Nick, for taking part in 'Creating Life' but unfortunately, you are not winners…
Caves, Cheese and Contemplation
Last week we went on an 'escape-away' to Somerset. Four days away from our lives, and our first family break without Evalyn. I was always going to have mixed emotions. A small part of me wondered if it was too soon to try a family holiday. I mean, how could I possibly even contemplate being…
For The Love of a Pug
We have always wanted a dog. But we wanted to do it right. Me and Nick both worked full time and it wouldn't have been fair to introduce a dog into our family when we weren't around to care for it properly. In February 2016, I fell pregnant with Evalyn and that's when we formulated…
Surviving Mother’s Day . . . . (one rollercoaster at a time)!
There is no one 'type' of mother. There are the mother's who get to experience the joy of watching their children grow up. There are the mother's who must continue in this world with nothing but a memory and a broken heart. There are the mother's who love children not born to them as their…
After Evalyn 