When Evalyn died, one of our main concerns was helping Ieuan (who was four years old at the time) try to understand what had happened and to manage his grief in the most gentle of ways. At the time, he loved to read and one day my mum came home from the library with a…
Dear Evalyn, Here we are again. Another year on and another year apart. I sat and thought for a long time about what I wanted to write to you. Sometimes the words have come freely and at other times, they've been harder to find. Because when all is said and done, I only have one…
Every year around your birthday, I write you a letter. But for some reason, the words for this one were harder to find. This letter has found its way back to my drafts folder more than enough times to bring about a mothers guilt. The words should be so easy. Because when it comes to…
In the moment I learned that my daughters heart had stopped beating, my mind instantly began its search for answers. And in trying to list all of the ways that the unthinkable could have happened, the concept of blame quickly rose to the surface. Who was to blame for my daughter's death? Who should I…
In my mind, I can still picture my husband standing in shock. I can still remember wanting to reach out to him, to utter words that would bring him comfort. But no words came. Hindsight. It is both beautiful and a curse. Because now I know the words I would have said to him yet…
Dear Evalyn, Time itself tells us that it can heal us of our grief. That 'in time', we may not hurt as much. But I'm sitting here three years after I last held you in my arms and my tears still find a way to fall onto the letters as I type. Because three years…
For those who may not know, The Butterfly Awards "is a beautiful, inspirational ceremony and dinner that celebrates the survivors and champions of baby loss" and I am so honoured to be named as a finalist in the Author/Blogger (international) catergory this year. I am so thankful to this ceremony that honours so many…
Dear Evalyn, Loss is meant to make us see the fragility of life. It is meant to make us see how much life should be cherished. How much it should be lived. Loss is meant to make us open our own doors outwards into the world and explore the beauty it holds, for we now…
After Evalyn 